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January 2, 2015

2014

I dedicated this post to these 3 types of people in my life.
"Never forget 3 types of people in your life:
1. Who helped you in your difficult times.
2. Who left you in your difficult times.
3. Who put you in difficult times."


1.
Dear people who gave me big hands during the worst days of my life in 2009, 2011, and 2013...
Thank you.
Thank you. 
Thank you.

I should've said it earlier, but I don't know why...
at that time I couldn't feel the affection people transferred to me.
at that time I couldn't believe that those nice things you all did were a sincere generosity.
at that time I couldn't believe in myself.


Leaving me to doubt
Talk about God and His mercy
For if He really does exist
Why did He desert me?
(Alone Again Naturally - Gilbert O'Sullivan)


In those years, everything looked ugly.
I complained to God so often. I even blamed Him.
I locked myself in my bedroom to avoid my family. 
I stayed away from my friends. 
I even unconsciously divorced my own soul from my body. 


I can't love, shot full of holes
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold
Don't feel nothing, just old scars
Toughening up around my heart
(I Want Love - Elton John)


But since 2014, my life is getting better.
So much better than I could ever imagine how life should be. 

Nothing like the life I've led so far
(For The First Time In Forever - OST Frozen)

Since 2014, I can't stop thanking the Maker of this whole universe for everything He gives me. 
Even for those difficulties I suffered from. 
And amazingly, in 2014, I only cried two times!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (^o^)/
So, again, my dearest friends and family, thank you. I owe you all happiness!

2.
Dear people who left me when I needed you, hasta la vista.
But thank you for coming!!! (^o^)/

3.
Dear people who put me in those difficult times, thank you.
"You have shown me exactly who I don't wanna be". Be like you.