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December 13, 2011

Aku Ingin Mencintaimu Dengan Sederhana

 Illustration: (c) Gabriella Kartini Panaory 2011



Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana:
dengan kata yang tak sempat diucapkan kayu kepada api yang menjadikannya abu

Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana:
 dengan isyarat yang tak sempat disampaikan awan kepada hujan yang menjadikannya tiada


-Sapardi Djoko Damono



Every time I read this poem, I can feel the blood rushes into my brain.
That means, I wholeheartedly love it.

Life's getting so complicated lately. I couldn't see the differences between black and white.
People lie to me without feeling guilty, so I think it's fair enough if I hide my real feelings.
Wait, no. I didn't lie to anybody, I'm just trying to mend everything by myself.
I was fooled and hurt, again and again.
I'm getting used like this, but, man, you've to know I wasn't born to please you.

November 30, 2011

I've just deleted some posts.
I myself didn't know why.
I occasionally thought I should delete this blog, too.

November 20, 2011

When Money Speaks, The Truth Is Silent

Seminggu yang lalu, sekitar jam 7 malem, gw lagi di perjalanan pulang dari kampus menuju rumah.
Gw naik angkot. Angkotnya kecil. Penuh. Cuma sisa dua tempat buat dua pantat di bangku kayu kecil di deket pintu.
Gak lama kemudian, ada dua orang laki-laki yang berhentiin angkot yang lagi gw tumpangin.
Setelah Pak Supir ngerapat ke bahu jalan, mereka berdua naik & duduk di bangku kayu kecil.
Gw duduk tepat di depan mereka.
Dua laki-laki itu keliatan kikuk (baca: mabok).
Laki-laki pertama, kepalanya botak, pake celana jeans belel, dan sandal warna hitam.
"Wah, hape gua ilang", kata si laki-laki pertama sambil rogoh-rogoh kantong celananya.
"Hahaha masa copet dicopet sih", laki-laki yang kedua ngejawab spontan.

Enak aja, gua bukan copet
Oh iya gua lupa, lo jambret hahaha
Ah gak apa-apa deh hape gua ilang, yang penting ini gak ilang

Abis itu laki-laki pertama ngeluarin semacam buku nota dari kantong celananya dan nepuk-nepuk buku itu ke kepalanya.

Eh, lo minggu depan ikut ke Bali nggak?
Mau ngapain emangnya?
Ah jawab dulu, lo ikut gak?
Enggak, gw gak ikut
Gw mau KTT di Bali sama SBY hahaha

Lo tau nggak, waktu gw di Cipinang, gw ketemu Ferry
Ferry mana?
Ferry yang ngebunuh Alda
Oh hahaha iya tau gua
Gila dia tatonya banyak banget, di lengannya penuh, di punggungnya apalagi penuh banget sampe kulitnya aja udah gak keliatan saking ketutup tato semua. Yang di punggung tatonya batik
Busyet batik? Hahahaha
Yeee serius gua, batik gitu penuh tapi ada cekung di bagian lehernya jadi kalo pake baju kerah, tatonya gak keliatan
Berarti dia kalo ke kondangan mah telanjang aja ya, kan udah pake batik dia hahaha
Si Ferry di dadanya ada tato wayang gitu, di punggungnya juga ada tato wayangnya
Lo kok bisa ketemu dia?
Jadi dia tuh satu blok sama gua pas disana
Busyet, terus terus
Iya dia songong banget, pas baru masuk, dia nanya ke gua 'Ngapain lo disini?', gua tanya balik 'Lah engkoh ngapain disini?', gua panggil aja engkoh, kan dia cina cina gitu tuh ya
Iya hahaha putih gitu kan dia
Iya, terus dia jawab 'Ah lo pasti kenal gua siapa', gua bilang 'Iya kayaknya gua pernah liat... Oh gua inget, lo yang kasusnya Alda kan?', dia ketawa-ketawa doang. Terus yaudah gua ngobrol sama dia, dia nawarin minum. Lu tau gak, dia punya kulkas. Gua buka kulkasnya, gak ada aqua gitu ya. Adanya coca-cola, bir bintang, sprite, fanta. Ada tv 42inch juga yang gede gitu 
Busyet hahahahaha wajar lah kan orang kaya dia, berasa di kamarnya sendiri aja
Iya udah gitu, kalo pagi-pagi, yang laen kan pada ngantri ngambil makanan sambil bawa piring gitu, dia mah ngapain tau gak lu?
Ngapain?
Nelfon "Iya mbak, ketringnya ya kayak biasa, tapi tambahin ikan gurame"
Busyet kaya banget dah Ferry
Gua kan diajak tuh, yaudah gua mau mau aja lah ya, kapan lagi gua makan ikan gurame disana. Tapi dia hukuman berlipat ganda, banyak banget
Apaan aja emang?
Ada 72, 338, 340
Apaan tuh kalo 72?
Pulo Gadung
Yeh serius gua, apaan kalo 72?
Nih, kalo 72 tuh pemakai, 338 pembunuhan berencana, 340 pembunuhan juga
Kalo lo apaan?
Kalo gua mah 88 doang. Tadinya gua malah mau dibawa ke Tangerang
Goblok banget polisinya, Tangerang mah buat dibawah 17 tahun
Iya dia gak percaya kalo gua udah punya 4 anak hahaha sampe gua bawa anak sama bini gua ke kantor polisi
Ah enggak enggak, pokoknya polisinya tetep goblok
Eh terus ada lagi, pas gua disana, gua ketemu menteri, Subardjo
Oh iya tau gua itu menkominfo
Dia waktu itu manggil kan pas gua lagi sama Ferry, dia bilang 'Jangan deket-deket Ferry, nanti kamu diajarin ngebunuh', gua ketawa-ketawa aja
Hahaha aturan lo ngomong, 'Kalo sama bapak, nanti saya diajarin korupsi dong?' hahahaha
Gak enak gua mah cari muka aja, dia ngasih gua sepatu Nike masih dibandrol. Jadi itu hadiah dari anaknya pas lagi ngejenguk dia, eh dia kasih ke gua. Terus dia sering nanya 'Kamu percaya gak saya korupsi? Saya ini haji loh'. Gua jawab aja, 'Ah tampang bapak mah tampang orang baik-baik'

Cuma sampe situ percakapan yang gw dengar karena gw harus turun dari angkot.
Gw baru tau di penjara beneran bisa ada kulkas & bahkan bisa delivery makanan.
Gw baru sadar ternyata hukum di Indonesia sebobrok itu.

November 12, 2011

Violet

Aku ingin kembali ke masa dimana tangan mama adalah satu-satunya materi yang paling sering ku pegang.
Aku ingin kembali ke masa dimana aku menghabiskan waktu maghrib di pangkuan ayah sambil mendengarkannya berdoa.
Aku ingin kembali ke masa dimana aku dan kakakku selalu bertukar cerita sebelum tidur.
Aku ingin kembali ke masa dimana perkelahian dengan teman hanya berlangsung beberapa menit.
Aku ingin kembali ke masa dimana hal yang paling menyakitkan adalah jatuh dari sepeda.
Sekarang,
Aku lebih sering memegang handphone.
Aku menghabiskan waktu maghribku di kampus, bersama teman-teman.
Aku sudah pisah kamar dengan kakakku semenjak beberapa bulan yang lalu.
Aku tidak pernah berbicara lagi dengan kakakku. Kami lebih sering bertengkar lalu mengunci diri di kamar masing-masing.
Aku memendam rasa benci kepada beberapa temanku, bahkan sampai bertahun-tahun lamanya.
Hal yang paling menyakitkan saat ini adalah melihat orang yang aku sayang, menyayangi orang lain.

October 30, 2011

Let It Be

"You are only a teenager. You are not yet married, so go with the flow, laugh tons, use manners, and try something new.
Trust your feelings, spend your cash, introduce yourself, and regret nothing.
Don't laugh at people's dreams, challenge yourself, take pictures and appreciate the memories.
You should make time to dance in your underwear and learn from the past.
Play dress up and then take all your clothes off.
Have the time of your life."

Because I believe that life is short, I'd better let it be. Be happy.

I passionately feel like having 'let it be' permanent tattoo on my left wrist.
Bukan cuma nulis pake pulpen dan ditebelin setiap hari.
Tapi katanya nanti dosa, nanti susah dapet kerja, nanti keliatan kayak cewek badung, nanti ini, nanti itu, nanti lalalala.
Huh, yasudahlah.

Sekarang gw udah kuliah dan lagi sibuk-sibuknya ngerjain tugas sekaligus belajar buat UTS.
Gw masih tetep kayak dulu, gak pernah bisa konsen belajar di kelas.
Guru Dosen ngejelasin, gw bengong atau kadang-kadang ngobrol.
Bedanya, kalo kuliah udah gak bisa tidur di kelas lagi dengan ngomong ke temen sebangku, "kalo ada gurunya, bangunin gw ya".
Udah gak ada yang namanya temen sebangku.
Duduknya bebas, boleh dimana aja, asal bukan di meja dosen.

Gw berangkat kuliah dianter om gw atau naik ojek.
Pulang naik angkot atau kadang dijemput sama bokap. Sering juga nebeng temen.
Perjalanan pulang gw dari kampus ke rumah pasti ngelewatin stasiun.
Gw suka suasana stasiun, bikin keinget sama Hogsmeade Station atau King's Cross Station.
Walaupun sebenernya sih beda banget.

Well, I guess I should go back studying!
I promise I'll tell you more about my new life at university later!

October 23, 2011

23 September 2010

This one is a letter for me written by one of my best friends, Feby (Molly). She wrote this on September 23, 2010.

-----

Oh man it’s not easy as it seems to write this. Trying my best.

This post is dedicated to my best friend, well duh, obviously.

Dear best friend,

To be honest, the word “best friend” sucked to me, because well...
First, I basically don’t rank my friends.
Second, I don’t trust people that much enough to be one.

As I enter high school, I have this circle of really close friends, until now.
But I honestly think that I don’t have a REAL best friend. Until I met her...

It was the end of the first semester, 2 years ago.
I met her at her school, it was a sport day.
I was gonna meet my ex boyfriend (fckit you’re too disgusting to be written here but whatever) and then some friend of mine introduced me to her.
We got along really well since that time, but I couldn’t see that she was gonna be my best friend now back then.

Time after time, months after months, day after day.
We spent a lot of time virtually and sometimes literally together.
We went through this dark times, felt hopeless and pathetic together.
You were always there helping me through my rough times.
You were always there when I feel absolutely shitty.
You patiently deal with my rants and whines for hours, even days without complaining, not even once.
You’re always there everytime I need you the most.
Lame jokes, ridiculous midnight chats and gossips, or calls.

We have the same taste of humor, music, or sometimes we can be a total opposite.
We even have this name we call to each other, “Mol”.
You make me laugh, I make you laugh.
You never ever judge me for anything.
We have never judged each other, we try to understand each other’s point of view.
We adjust and try to understand each other—the feeling is mutual.

There are lots of people out there who’s been bitching around talking shits about you, trust me, I know better.
To all of them, FUCK YOU ALL LAME MOFOS!
Why don’t y’all get a fucking life man and stop being such a hater.
My girl here is prolly smarter than all of you bitches.
Gah enough rant and hate here, why do I care to write about them anyways...

Well...

Thanks for always being there for me, Ena. You are the highlight of my days.
I couldn’t imagine what my life would be if we weren’t that close man, I mean who will listen all my daily rants and who would stand me patiently when I’m being such a bitch.
There are so many memories, too many of them.
I really wish that we get into the same uni, like we always imagined :’)

I’m afraid that someday we will lost each other, and you will forget me, or vice versa.

But the thing is, I won’t. And I promise you that, Anisa Fajrina Djuanda.

-----
Hi, Mol.
You know you were the first person I would text when something good/bad happened to me.
I always looked for your arms every time I was in tears.

Too bad I can't remember every single thing that has happened to us over the past two years.
But I'm so glad to know we are now studying at the same uni, like we always imagined.

September 13, 2011

Disability

Sam: Yeah, but I tried, I tried hard!
Rita: Try harder!
Sam: Yeah, but you don’t know, you don’t know!
Rita: I don’t know what?
Sam: Yeah, you don’t know what is like when you try, and you try, and you try, and you try, and you don’t ever get there!
Rita: Oh, is that right?
Sam: People like you don’t know!
Rita: People like me?
Sam: People like you don’t know what it is like to get hurt. Because you don’t have feelings! People like you don’t feel anything!

Lucy: I won't read the word!
Sam: I'm your father and I'm telling you to read the word. 'Cause I can tell you to, because I'm your father.
Lucy: I'm stupid.
Sam: You are not stupid!
Lucy: Yes I am.
Sam: No, you are not stupid! Because you can read that word.
Lucy: I don't wanna read if you can't.


image search: google

"I AM SAM" is the first movie that really made me hardcore cry from beginning to end.
If you never watched this, you need to.

P.S.:
Lately, I've been wondering how it would feel to be a blind person.
Would it feel like everyday is a blackout day?
I've been also wondering how could they know whether is it still noon or already night?
Could they imagine how their face look like?
But after all, I've been wondering how God is really good, especially to me.
I never asked Him to give me two eyes, but I got them. For free.
Well I guess I will never get tired of loving God.

July 16, 2011

Mocca Last Show

Begini sejarahnya.
Dulu gw kayaknya masih kelas 5 atau 6 SD. Mungkin sekitar tahun 2004-2005.
Dari gw SD, karena kakak gw suka baca buku, gw jadi ikut-ikut suka juga.
Nah, salah satu novel teenlit yang gw baca itu Fairish. Itu termasuk novel teenlit unggulan, setara sama Dealova.
Nah lagi, dari novel Fairish itu dibikinlah tv seriesnya, di mana soundtrack yang dipake itu lagu Secret Admirer punyanya Mocca.
Dari situ langsung suka banget deh pokoknya. Tapi berhubung dulu kaset/cd Mocca agak sulit dicari di Disc Tarra, jadilah cuma bisa nikmatin lagu-lagu Mocca lewat TV atau yang ada di film-film aja.
Dulu belum ngerti juga caranya download lagu. Hahahaha.
Intinya, jatuh cinta sama lagu-lagu mereka tuh bener-bener langsung dari telinga turun ke hati. Gak pake mikir deh.

Di konser Mocca Last Show kemarin, lagu kesukaan gw, Happy, dibawain di awal.
Terus pas lagi lagu Let Me Go, screen-nya video rumput lagi kena tetesan air hujan.
Dan tiba-tiba aja gitu di luar hujan deras banget. Pas lagunya selesai, hujannya berhenti. Dahsyat.

Pas Arina nyanyi Tanah Airku, mata gw berkaca-kaca, tangan gw merinding. Cari aja di youtube udah ada videonya loh!

White Shoes and The Couples Company


Karena autofocus kamera gw rusak LAGI, akhirnya gak banyak foto yang gw ambil. Ditambah lagi lensa gw cuma 18-55.
Tapi semoga foto-foto yang gw ambil ini cukup buat jadi kenang-kenangan.


Acaranya selesai, all artists naik ke atas panggung.
Btw, di pojok kiri itu pembawa acaranya yang super kocak, Ringgo Agus Rahman & Soleh Solihun.

Ngeliat Arina nangis itu rasanya jadi kepengen ikutan nangis.

Kenapa... Kenapa... Kenapa fotonya malah fokus di kepala orang itu щ(ºДºщ)

Gw & Nila foto bareng sama Toma, Riko, & Indra. Gak bisa foto sama Arina karena katanya Arina lagi istirahat di belakang.
Dan menurut ke-sotoy-an gw, pasti teteh Arina masih nangis disana.


Words can't describe how happy I was at that night.
Gw cuma berharap Arina pulang secepetnya ke Indonesia. (Pergi aja belom, udah disuruh pulang).
Dan gw sangat sangat sangat sangat berharap Mocca bakal manggung & ngeluarin album lagi!!!

July 10, 2011

"No Harry Potter Film for Indonesia"

Do they really think that banning (or increasing the customs duty & other stupid rules I don't clearly understand) some Hollywood movies to come in to Indonesia will make the quality of Indonesian movies get better than before?
Dengan hanya menyediakan film-film Indonesia di bioskop itu sama aja pemaksaan.
Pemaksaan itu hukumnya tidak halal, komandan.

Btw, buat yang belum pernah baca novel Harry Potter, I suggest you to read it.
Di mata gw, Harry Potter itu novel fiktif terbagus, terkeren, terkreatif, dan ter ter ter lainnya.
And I'm about to review Harry Potter's stuffs, wish you get tons of pleasure, muggles!

Harry Potter taught me to thank God to have parents (because we all know that he doesn't have any)...

Lily Potter taught me to be strong and brave...

Sirius Black taught me to trust in my beloved family...
Sirius: I expect you’re tired of hearing this, but you look so like your father. Except your eyes. You have…
Harry: My mother’s eyes.
Sirius: It’s cruel that I got to spend so much time with James and Lily, and you so little. But know this, the ones that love us never really leave us. And you can always find them in here.
[puts his hand to Harry’s heart]


Albus Dumbledore taught me about what love is... Dumbledore: Harry, do you know why Professor Quirrell couldn’t bear to have you touch him? It was because of your mother. She sacrificed herself for you. And that kind of act leaves a mark… This kind of mark cannot be seen. It lives in your very skin.


Cedric Diggory taught me to be kind-hearted even to my rival...
Hagrid taught me to love animals...


Fred & George taught me to distinguish a business and a relation hahahahahaRon: How much is this?
Twins: Five galleons.
Ron: How much for me?
Twins: 5 galleons.
Ron: I’m your brother!
Twins: 10 galleons.

Ginny Weasley taught me to keep waiting someone patiently... Harry: It’s been like… like something out of someone else’s life, these last few weeks with you. But I can’t. We can’t. I’ve got things to do now. Think how much danger you’ll be in if we keep this up.
Ginny: What if I don’t care?
Harry: I care. How do you think I'd feel if this was your funeral... and it was my fault?
Ginny: I never really gave up on you. Not really. I always hoped... but you’ve been too busy saving the wizarding world. Well, I can’t say I’m surprised. I knew this would happen in the end. I knew you wouldn’t be happy unless you were hunting Voldemort. Maybe that’s why I like you so much.

Ronald Weasley & Hermione Granger, well, 'kay, they are pretty sweet. (Yes, I'm that jealous!) Ron: Your voice, Hermione. You said my name. Just my name. Like a whisper. So I took it, clicked it, and this tiny ball of light appeared. And I knew. And sure enough, it flew toward me, the ball of light, right into my chest and straight through me. Right here. And I knew it was going to take me where I needed to go.
Ron: I love you, Hermione.
Hermione: Don't let Lavender hear you saying that.
Ron: I won't. Or maybe I will... then she'll ditch me.

Dobby taught me to be a loyal friend...

If there is one thing Voldemort cannot understand, it is love.

I always wonder how it feels to hold on a snitch...

And I always wonder how butterbeer tastes like...
All in all, friendship is the most valuable thing I've learned from Harry Potter...

Harry: Hogwarts is my home. If you said that Hogwarts is your home, you know what, Harry? You're my life.

Joanne Kathleen Rowling:
Thirteen years after the first Harry Potter book was published, I am still astonished and delighted by the response the story has met. Even though the seventh book and the eighth film have now been completed, I’m still receiving hundreds of letters every week, and Harry’s fans remain as enthusiastic and inventive as ever. So I’d like to take this opportunity to say thank you, because no author could have asked for a more wonderful, diverse and loyal readership. I’m thrilled to say that I am now in a position to give you something unique; an online reading experience unlike any other. It’s called Pottermore.
It’s the same story, with a few crucial additions - the most important one is you. Just as the experience of reading requires that the imaginations of the author and reader work together to create the story, so Pottermore will be built in part by you, the reader. The digital generation will be able to enjoy a safe, unique online experience built around the Harry Potter books. Pottermore will be the place where fans of any age can share, participate in and rediscover the stories. It will also be the exclusive place to purchase digital audio books and, for the first time, ebooks of the Harry Potter series.
I’ll be joining in too, because I will be sharing additional information I have been hoarding for years about the world of Harry Potter. Pottermore is open to everyone from October, but a lucky few can enter early and help shape the experience. Simply follow the owl. Good luck.


Dear Harry Potter author... I swear by the God...
OWL ALWAYS LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU!


image search: tumblr

P.S.:
Kalo ada film Indonesia yang sebanding bagusnya sama jalan cerita & efek film Harry Potter, gw ikhlasin Harry Potter gak tayang di sini.
Kalo gak ada, lemme do Avada Kedavra curse to all of you guys who made those stupid rules.

June 2, 2011

You & I


University entrance tests always bother my mind.
I don't see any color but yellow.

May 20, 2011

"That person is always on your mind is all it means."

I've dreamed about the same person for something like 11days in a row. What does it mean?

April 27, 2011

Having Period

Menurut sepenglihatan gue, perempuan lebih rentan marah ketika pra/sedang/pasca menstruasi.
Menurut Fauzan, PMS itu sama aja dengan Perempuan Menjadi Setan.
Kalo menurut gue, menurut gue loh ya...
Jangan jadikan PMS sebagai alasan kalian untuk bisa marah.

Sering gue denger percakapan kayak gini...
x: "Kenapa sih dia marah-marah mulu?"
y: "PMS kali"

Atau malah orang yang bersangkutan ngaku sendiri...
a: "Ah anjing lo! Gak tau apa ya gue lagi PMS?!!!"

Dan macam-macamnya.
Gue tau kok PMS itu sakit. Semua cewek juga tau deh kayaknya.
Dan gue rasa, cowok-cowok juga udah paham.
Secara kita sering banget ngomong "PMS tuh gak enak! Perut melilit! Kepala pusing! Uurrgggh!".
Mengeluh kesakitan itu wajar & manusiawi, yang gak boleh itu marah-marahin orang dengan mengatasnamakan PMS.

Marah itu kan emosi yang asalnya dari diri kita sendiri.
Kalo kita punya kemauan & mau ngontrol diri buat nggak marah juga pasti bisa kok.

Percaya deh, kita semua bakal lebih cantik kalo gak lagi marah.
Apalagi gue, cantik bangat pastinya!
Permisi, ada yang butuh Antimo?

April 14, 2011

My Head's Spinning Round in Circle.


Detik-detik menjelang UAN tuh rasanya sama banget kayak naik kora-kora.
Sama-sama bikin adrenalin terpacu sampe jantung jadi cetar-cetar.
Sama-sama bikin pengen teriak "AAAAAAAAAAA! Udah! Udah! Gak kuat!".
Sama-sama bikin pengen muntah.
Bedanya, kalo naik kora-kora kan muntah karena kenyang angin.
Kalo detik-detik mau UAN, kenyang rumus.

Pokoknya mah...
Mohon doanya yak, dibantu yak, bim salabim bisa lulus prok prok prok.

March 4, 2011

Complaining


Kalo lagi capek atau lagi ada di titik jenuh buat belajar, gue lebih suka main laptop atau tidur.
Tidur itu lebih baik daripada ngeluh.
Tidur gak bikin dosa. Tidur bikin sehat. Tidur ngilangin stress.
Ngeluh cuma bakal nambah beban hidup. Hidup terasa lebih berat.
Kalo nggak suka ngelakuin sesuatu, gak usah dilakuin daripada ujung-ujungnya cuma ngeluh.
Enggak, gue gak butuh mimbar ataupun mic. Gue gak lagi ceramah kok.
Gue cuma mau berbagi kisah nyata.
Gue (kurang lebih) udah setengah tahun ini nyoba buat nggak ngeluh.
Dan ternyata, gue bisa sedikit buat nggak ngeluh.
Mau tau tips anti ngeluh dari akyu?
Caranya gampang kok, ketik ENA (spasi) CANTIK, kirim ke 9898.
Oke, jayus. Balik lagi ke topik hidayat.
Caranya gampang kok raket net bultang.
Coba deh pelan-pelan buat ngilangin kata-kata "Aduh!", "Ahelah!", "Ah!" di dalem hati, pikiran, dan atau di twitter.
Atau apapun kalimatnya yang bersifat keluhan yang ada di dalem pikiran kita, make it less.
Lama-lama kita bakal terbiasa buat nggak mengeluh.
Dan akhirnya kita bisa tumbuh dewasa menjadi pribadi yang berguna. #TSAAAAHELAH

Ini ada beberapa kalimat (sources) yang mungkin bisa ngebuka pikiran kita lebih luas lagi:
Disaat kamu lelah dan mengeluh tentang pekerjaanmu...
Pikirkan tentang pengangguran, orang-orang cacat yang berharap mereka mempunyai pekerjaan sepertimu.
Sebelum kamu mengeluh tentang rasa dari makananmu,
Pikirkan tentang seseorang yang tidak punya apapun untuk dimakan.

Sekian tips dari gue.
Selamat mencoba! Selamat beraktivitas! Salam olahraga!

March 3, 2011

Y?

Why the heck do you do anything without thinking of my feeling?
Why don't you try to set your mind good?
Why don't you try to put your feet on my shoes?
So that you'll know whether it hurts or not.
You'll know whether you should step forward or walk away or just stand up tall and do nothing.
You'll know whether you should pipe up or stfu.
You'll know whether you should keep breathing or take yourself for a ride.
Why don't you try to put yourself on my shoes?
Why?

March 2, 2011

Uprax

Alhamdulillah, ujian praktek udah selesai hari ini.
Details...

OLAHRAGA, blip test, lari bolak-balik pake nada TENUT TONENET, "start level 2 blabla..."

BAHASA INDONESIA, phidhatho.

BAHASA INGGRIS, written test & oral test, ada banyak macemnya. Written test gue disuruh ngejelasin Cycle of Rain. Oral test, gue kedapetan (katanya sih spoof text, padahal itu cerita jayoes mampoes) tentang kucing mati on the roof.

BIOLOGI, respirasi hewan, praktek ter-suram.
Gue: Nar, jangkrik tuh terbang gak sih?
Danar: Enggak kok, cuman loncat.
Akhirnya setelah gue memberanikan diri buat megang jangkrik, dan jangkriknya malah gue pencet, dan jangkriknya ngeluarin cairan kuning-kuning, dan akhirnya gue tutup lagi cawan petri sambil gemeteran, dan akhirnya gue minta tolong Danar buat masukin jangkrik ke respirometer.
Penderitaan belum selesai sampe disitu.
Praktek respirashit itu harus megang jarum.
Pertamanya, gue kira itu jarum bohongan kayak jarum yang dijual di abang-abang TK.
Gak taunya, jarum beneran...
Telen ludah dulu yuk akh...
Tangan gue gemeteran parah pas megang jarum.
Bu Rosita: "Tenang nak, kamu taro dulu jarumnya, jangan gemeteran gitu, tenang."
Bu Mistik: "Iya tenang nak."
Gue: *nada pasrah* "Iya bu..."
Gue: *dalem hati* "GIGIMU TENANG! INI JARUM KALO KETUSUK KE TANGAN GUE, CAIRAN EOSIN MASUK KE BADAN GUE, APA KABAR DUNIA?"
Intinya, percobaan biologi gue, gatot. Terserah mau ngartiin gatot itu apa.
Boleh, gagal total. Boleh juga, gagal *sensor*.

TIK, bikin mail merge, dibantuin Filda 80% hahaha.

SENI RUPA, gambar perspektif bikin bayangan yang njelimet tingkat dewa bujana. Pokoknya mah gak ngerti massal, nyontek massal, keringetan massal, bantu-bantuan massal, duduk satu kursi berdua massal, pinjem-pinjeman spidol massal.

FISIKA, pengukuran. Gue gak bisa bedain mana itu tembaga, mana itu aluminium, mana itu besi.

AGAMA, ngafalin surat-surat segambreng.

KIMIA, indikator asam basa, netes-netesin cairan gitu sampe cairannya jadi warna-warni, ini paling asik hahaha.

Kelar.


Ohya, ini ada foto pas ujian praktik olahraga, blip test.



Ini semua foto yang gue ambil setahun yang lalu.
Yang lagi uprak blip test itu bukan angkatan gue, tapi kakak kelas angkatan 2010.
Waktu itu di kelas gue lagi gak ada guru, guru-gurunya lagi pada ngawas uprak.
Akhirnya semua anak-anak keluar kelas & nontonin aktivitas yang ada di lapangan.

Time flies so fast. Bahkan, menurut gue, terlalu cepat.
Gak kerasa, posisi gue sekarang udah ada di posisi kakak kelas gue tahun lalu.
Terlalu banyak kata "perasaan baru aja..." dan "tau-tau..." di otak gue.
For instance, "Perasaan baru aja MOS, tau-tau udah mau lulus aja."
"Perasaan baru aja nontonin kakak kelas uprak blip test, tau-tau sekarang gue yang uprak."
And so forth.

Yang ada di dalem pikiran gue pas lagi uprak & pas lagi ngetik ini,
"Mungkin, ada adek kelas yang lagi nontonin gue dan temen-temen gue dari lantai atas, as I did a year ago. Dan mungkin, tahun depan, bakal ada adek kelas yang bakal posting tentang ujian praktik itu, as I'm doing now."


P.S: As you can see from the photo above (the photo of me and Tessa).........
You'll know how I'm really yearning my long hair.