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November 25, 2014


I just came to realize that...
the world doesn't need to know the feelings living beneath my skin
the thoughts spinning round under my skull.

November 19, 2014

Today's Headline

This is today's top headline which made me really happy.

Jakarta gets first Christian governor in 50 years

Two days ago, I mentioned something related to that news in my Nation & Nationalism class.
I told the class that the only thing, which is actually the most vital thing, I (/we) didn't learn back then in school was tolerance.
Especially, religious tolerance.
Didn't mean to sound arrogant, but I did learn it on my own while my surroundings (my school teachers & my parents) taught me the other way around.
My religion teachers at school always told me that all Christians would go to hell that we (Muslim) should have been thankful for not being part of them, which then made me look at my Christian friends differently for a long period of time. Because of that as well, I even used to think their lives weren't as sacred as mine.
My parents never allowed me to date a Christian. I never know their exact reasons, but they were really angry once they knew I dated Christians twice.
Yes. I dated Christians twice, one of whom was totally intolerant with my religious preference.
He, more than one time, convinced me that his god was much better than mine.
I used to think he was such a pathetic boy before realizing that it wasn't all his fault for being such a bigot actually.
It's the society's fault for making him, my school teachers, my parents (& us) become like that.
I know that putting all the blame on the society will not bring any kind of peace in this world.
But that's the truth I can tell you now from my perspective.
The society always tells children that everybody is unique. That each of us is different.
But none of them tells us about how to deal with those differences.
How to deal with Christians; a guide for Muslims.
How to deal with homosexuals; a guide for heterosexuals.
How to deal with disabled people; a guide for normal people.
How to deal with the poor; a guide for the rich.
All in all, it's indeed about how the majority deals with the minority.
According to some friends of mine's confession in the class, I can conclude that the minority doesn't urgently need to learn from the start about how to deal with those kind of things cause they know it already. In other words, it is the the majority who should start learning about tolerance. This might sound like an overgeneralization, but, again, that's just my thought.
If you don't agree and can't find the similarity between our notion, can you deal with that?

November 18, 2014

As far as I see...

I’m now in the middle of doing nothing.
And by nothing, I mean my academic journal, which is more like an undergraduate thesis, but way shorter.
And I’m bored. And I’m stuck behind the desk. And I’ve read almost all posts from buzzfeed, my current favorite website.
And I don’t know what I have to do now with my life. Don’t encourage me to see the better life I would have if I could finish my academic journal cause it isn’t gonna workkkghghghkqkqkq on mehhhwhwh.
Seriously, life no longer looked interesting to me at all............................ until about 10 minutes ago I googled the name I made in 2009 for my future daughter. (Oh yes, I do literally count my chickens before they are hatched). It brought a smile on my face cause its meaning is somewhat cool!
You know I’ve always wanted to name my daughter Leffie. Most of my friends said that it sounds like a dog’s name, but whatever.
I used to think it doesn't have any meaning since it's not that kind of name you can find in holy bibles. But this one somehow convinced me that I made a right decision to make Leffie as the name for my daughter.
"Someone who is really obsessive but fabulous and just loves indie & alternative bands while being really tall." (Urban Dict, 2009)
The name Leffie is actually Eiffel spelled backwards. I made that for the sake of my love to Eiffel tower. In my thought, I always see/imagine it as the most beautiful place in the whole world. Never been there but I know it really is beautiful. 
Well, that’s all I can blabber on about my future daughter’s name.
Now what?

November 2, 2014

Blah blah blah

Gak kerasa udah bulan November aja. Taun depan udah 2015. Taun depan gw lulus kuliah.
Lulus kuliah....
Buset gak kebayang banget gw pake toga abis itu udah... Kerja...
Gw gak pernah nyangka gw beneran udah mau lulus.
Sedih sih karena gw tau gw masih bego dan belum punya banyak temen.
Padahal pas masuk kuliah dulu janji sama diri sendiri kalo mau lulus harus pinter dulu.
Tapi jadi pinter tuh susah banget kenapa ya??? (Nanya begini aja bikin gw makin keliatan bego pfttt)
Btw gw akhirnya potong rambut lagiiii. Padahal pengen sekali-kali punya rambut panjang.
Tapi gerah banget. Tapi seneng juga karena akhirnya kalo ketemu temen "Ena rambutnya udah panjang aja". Biasanya kan "Ena rambutnya gak panjang-panjang".
Gw sebenernya bersyukur banget selama kuliah ini gw dapet tawaran ngajar dimana-mana.
Tapi kadang suka mikir sendiri, sebenernya gw bisa gak sih jadi guru?
Jadi ragu sendiri.
Kadang kalo ngeliat murid LBI gw ngelamun di kelas, gw suka sedih.
Gw yang gagal jadi guru atau mereka yang emang gak niat belajar ya?
Kadang kepikiran buat nyari kerjaan selain jadi guru.
Jadi apakek.