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July 31, 2013

Siggi & Her Story

This morning, when Mrs Sunny was still sleeping and hiding behind those fluffy blankets made of clouds, Siggi found herself crying.
It was very unusual that Siggi cried in the morning.
Every atom in the universe knew that her tears eventually belonged to the shade of Mr Moonlight.
As soon as Mrs Sunny woke up, Siggi wiped her tears and faked a very big smile on her face.
"You are never good at pretending. What's wrong?", asked Mrs Sunny

"I couldn't blow my candles. Uncle Windy has been bothering me since last night. I really wanna blow my candles before my rainbow cake gets rotten."
"What else?"
"This frenzy city is trying to kill me I know. I feigned ignorance but I get tired, really. I get really tired."
"What else?"
"I ran out of idea how to keep flying with only two wings. Too much weight on my back. I need more. Well, I honestly don't need it, but I want more."
"What else?"
"What do you mean by repeating that question all over again? I've answered it a couple of times! Wait... Now, it's three times! What do you want to know exactly?"
"Why do you keep going out with horses while you can fly with unicorns in paradise? Do you know that if you infrequently use your wings, you'll lose your ability to fly! Your wings will slowly vanish and you cannot go anywhere but to this disgusting earth!"
"Because I want to run with the horse I've met constantly since two years ago. That horse made me feel like I don't need my wings. Well, I guess I need it, but I want two more wings to be added to that horse's body, so that horse and I could ask Uncle Windy to blow us up to paradise and we could live there together and forever. But... On the second thought, I guess he doesn't need any wing. Neither do I need to move to my former home, the paradise. I'm happy enough to live in this world. Oh!!! Also, that horse smells like home and looks like paradise! So why should I move?"
"Because earlier you said that you're tired of this city, didn't you?"
"Definitely. I loathe this city. I loathe this money-hungry society. I want to live peacefully in a beautiful, tranquil place."
"Paradise, it is!!! Why are you still puzzled as if you were faced with no option? You can live in paradise. Uncle Windy won't be able to annoy you anymore there. You can blow your colorful candles and eat your rainbow cake every morning!"
"..."
"Go! Go, Siggi! Go! Move to paradise and be happy!"
"I know, I know. I know I'll be much happier there. I will go as well. But, not now. Not today."
"So, when?"
"I'll go when I'm 100% ready to live alone without that horse. And I'll find another tale, a very new tale, in paradise when I'm 100% ready to leave that horse alone without bringing even an inch of my memory in the past with that horse to my present and my future."
"When will it be? You tell me!"
"Tomorrow. I promise. Tomorrow."

July 20, 2013

A Letter To A Lover

Maybe they know nothing about you.
Maybe they are having fun at the time you are crying.
Maybe they are crying and asking for your respect when you're having fun.
Maybe you think they are not fair.
Maybe you don't trust them.
Maybe you hate the songs they listen to.
Maybe you love the books they don't read.
Maybe you and your friends are different.
Maybe your brain is trying to tell you that they are useless.
But, maybe you need them. Your friends.

Though you don't wanna admit it, I know that you actually do.
But that's okay.
The thing is that I'm here. Always be here.

But I'm not like your other friends...
I won't be crying with you when you have to deal with your problems.
Instead, I will give you a hug, for I know a hug can heal any pain.
I will listen to your favorite songs, for I hope you can forget your problem & we can sing along.

I'm not like your other friends...
I won't also ask you to stop crying since I know that you need it.
I'm the one who believes that those who cry are humans since every human coming to this universe cries.
So, crying is one kind of proof that you are still alive.

But, again, I'm not like your other friends...
I won't tell you that everything is okay, because we both know, it is not. 
You know what, in his press conference when citizens of Gotham seemed like they didn't trust him anymore, Harvey confidently said that the darkest night is just before the dawn.
What I'm going to tell you is that... The dawn is coming.
And someday you'll look back at this time and smile. 
You will smile because you can pass these hard times.
You will smile because you will realize that when other people always let you down,
you know that I will never do.

I'm not saying that you should enjoy your hard times until the dawn comes.
What I literally mean to say is that you can pass through this... with me.

Maybe now you're in your darkest night.
You see nothing, but your own sadness.
You want to see the moon, but all you've got is thunder and rain.
You want to wake up and tell yourself that all of this is just a nightmare, but you can't.
And it's not about the disability of waking up.
But, it's actually about you who can't even go to sleep.

But, believe me, you can pass through these times.

And, if you wanna cut yourself, remember that I love you.

July 16, 2013

Persetan

Persetan dengan demokrasi dan hak asasi.
Nyatanya, sekarang, udah gak ada lagi yang menjunjung tinggi makna mengapa manusia memiliki satu mulut dan dua telinga.
"Supaya kita lebih banyak mendengar daripada berbicara", begitu kata guru fisika gw pas SMA.
Tapi di mana eksekusinya di kehidupan nyata?
Gak ada.

Sekarang, kinerja gendang telinga sudah dirusak oleh tiga perkara: harta, tahta, dan kuasa.

July 14, 2013

Stasiun UI

Sebelum baca postingan ini, buat para pendemo, lebih baik gak usah baca daripada gw bikin lo lo pada sakit hati karena gw males minta maaf untuk sesuatu yang gw rasa bener-bener aja. Yoi. Pretdut. Cupsmwaah.

Sebenernya mengenai kasus penggusuran toko-toko di stasiun UI, gw setuju.
Terus barusan aja gw nyari berita terkait, di Tempo.Co, begini kata ketua BEM UI, "Kami melakukan protes damai karena ini bukan penataan, tapi penggusuran, maknanya beda."
Haaaaammmmpfffft????!!!
Mau judulnya penataan atau penggusuran, ya sama aja lah.
Semua toko itu pasti dirubuhin. Gimandose sih?


Makin kesini yang gw liat emang banyak mahasiswa yang kerjaannya demo mulu.
Pernah sore-sore gw pulang lewat stasiun, jauh sebelum ada isu penggusuran tralala-trilili itu, gw yang udah capek ngampus + udah lepek tapi tetep cakep, langsung dongkol banget pas ngeliat ada sekelompok mahasiswa UI, pake jakun pastinya, lagi ngerusuh di stasiun UI deket tukang ojek.
Beberapa ada yang lagi gelar kain putih sambil dipilok-pilok ditulis apalah gak jelas sambil ditandatanganin.
Beberapa ada yang kayak keracunan susu basi, diem berdiri sambil megangin karton yang ada tulisan-tulisannya.
Beberapa ada yang moto-motoin doang.
Nah, yang sebiji, yang bikin gw murka banget, tereak-tereak pake moncong toa ke kuping gw.

Ergh. Entah apaan yang dibela. Sore-sore pula. Siapa coba yang mau dengerin???

Kalo mau demo mah sana gih ke gedung DPR atau ke istana negara biar didenger sama presiden dan antek-anteknya.
Kalopun gak didenger ya paling enggak masuk tipi atau koran lah.
Kalo gak masuk tipi & koran juga, ya gak apa-apa lah, Allah Maha Mendengar kok.

Iya gw juga ngerti kalo pemerintah banyak salah sama rakyat karena (masalah paling krusial) korupsi dan tetek bengek lainnya.
Gw juga ngerti kalo kita harus ngebela korban-korban gak bersalah gara-gara pemerintahan Indonesia yang pada ngaco.
Tapi, dengan ngebela tuh bukan berarti segala sesuatunya yang berhubungan sama rakyat harus dibela.

Demo cuma buat marah-marah ke pemerintah yang katanya nggak ngerasain penderitaan kaum miskin.
Duh. Yaiyalah mana ada presiden yang gembel. Itu kenyataan, nyet. Presiden udah pasti kaya.
Gak usah ngimpi kalo presiden sama rakyat bisa sama-sama sejahtera.
Kecuali kalo lo idup di dunia dongeng sama Bona & Rong-Rong.

Kalo mau kaya, ya usaha.
Kalo mau gak miskin, ya kerja.
Begitu kan rumusnya?

Nah, itu pedagang-pedagang di stasiun UI kan udah kerja. Udah punya barang-barang buat dijual.
Apanya sih yang mau dibela? Apanya sih yang dipermasalahin?
Okelah si pedagang-pedagang pasti curhat kalo mereka sedih (beberapa udah nangis sampe ingusan) lapak mereka diambrukin.
Tapi ya emang begitu kan kalo mau tertib? Yang illegal ya dibikin legal, dipindahin ke lapak di Kober lainnya.
Jadi salah siapa nih? Salah PT KAI? Salah pedagang? Atau salah kumbang-kumbang di taman?

Udahlah.
Udah bagus stasiun UI mau dirapihin, biar maju, biar bisa e-ticketing, biar gak nyampahin kertas yang dijegrek pake bolongan. 
Protes buat apa sih kalian ini wahai mahasiswa-mahasiswi berjaket kuning?

Lagian yang gw liat, pedagang-pedagang itu udah pindah ke toko daerah kober situ juga.
Mereka aja santai (kayaknya). Mahasiswa kok nyolotnya kayak abis disundut pake linggis panas.

Selesai protesnya. Sekarang sesi curhat.

Seminggu yang lalu pas mau beli tiket kereta ke Gondangdia, gw bayar pake uang 10000an karena tarifnya 8000.
Kembalian deh tuh 2000.
Eh pas gw mau cabut dari hadapan kaca berlobang, tiba-tiba si amang-amang dibalik kaca ngasih uang lagi 5000.
Gw sempet mikir muka gw hari itu terlalu melas sampe dikira kayak pengemis belom makan yang harus dikasih uang.
Gw, yang berhati mulia, pun bilang "Mas, kelebihan nih".
"Oh, emang tarif baru mba, jadi 5 stasiun pertama 2000, selebihnya nambah 500/stasiun".
"Oh... murah banget".
Tiba-tiba orang di belakang nepok pundak gw. Kirain mau ngajak main komunikata.
Taunya disuruh minggir karena gw bengong kelamaan & bikin ngantri zzz.

Sepanjang nunggu kereta, gw tetep mikir itu tarif terlalu murah.
Kemurahan.
Akh. Murah banget.
Udah gitu hari itu juga pertama kalinya gw pake e-ticketing. Wah keren. Keren. Keren.
Udah murah, pake e-ticketing, stasiun jadi lebih luas.

Jadi, kira-kira kabar mahasiswa-mahasisiwi berjaket kuning yang waktu itu demo tuh gimana ya sekarang?
Udah gak punya bahan buat diprotes lagi ya?
Kalo gak ada dan kalo kalian kangen tereak-tereak gak jelas, nih gw kasih usul.
Demoin aja pemerintah karena tarif angkot jarak dekat lebih mahal daripada harga tiket kereta api jarak jauh.
Biar kalian makin keren! Biar kalian bisa dianggap generasi muda yang kritis yang bisa merubah dunia!
Good luck, guys! Hihi.

Tertanda,
Anisa Fajrina Djuanda, anak UI yang lagi nyindir anak UI.

July 7, 2013

20

When I was four or five, I thought I was gonna get married at the age of twenty. Haha! So silly.
But…
It always pleases me to laugh at what I’ve done in the past.
Can you feel that, too?
That when you laugh at your past, you feel that you’re becoming a better person?
That when you laugh at your past, you see how stupid you were to cry over something that didn’t have big impacts to your future (well that future is now your present, right)?
That when you laugh at your past, you know how innocent you were to believe to hypocrites?
And you probably will feel like going to the Nobita’s bedroom, get in to his drawer, and meet yourself in the past to slap your own face and scream, “This won’t affect your future! Stop crying! Stop doing something useless! Get back to work and be happy!”
Have you ever felt that, too?
Because I, most of the time, have.

I’ve stopped regretting about something I’ve done in my past.
I prefer accepting it.

I’m officially 20 years old.
Without listening to Lily Allen’s song, I’ve already known that everybody is changing.